a bad day

raaar...

well. had fever from monday to thurs. prayed so hard tat i'll recover by fri. n miraculously, i recovered despite coughing like crazy in the middle of the night.. and when i woke up, only to realize that it's just 4am. so despite having a bad day today, which renders me terribly upset and disappointed... i still would like to thank god. thank you lord for answering my prayers. i love you lord.

but this time round i didnt feel as upset as in the past. i dunno why. yes. i was upset. but i tink perhaps it was because i know i did my best, but i just failed to avoid a mistake tat was so fatal. so the rest of the day passed with concerns from some friends who knew what was going on. and then we chatted thru the afternoon... and ta-da! i tink im more or less alright by now. taking it easy. tho feeling like a failure.

anw, it's cny real soon. im really glad tat my fever has finally come to a stop. im recovering gradually tho... just tat i tried munching on some cny goodies.. n all tasted bland to me. sigh. the most wasted thing was that 2 pieces of kueh lapis. i totally have no idea how it taste like n it costs like 40 over bucks. it jus made me feel tat it doesnt make much difference throwing it into the bin.

oh. yesterday i took a nap in the evening.. n to my horror.. i woke up with not blocked nose... but blocked ears. so my neighbors commented tat level 4 is too high for me. hmm. how abt level 18? wouldnt my ears be blocked every single day? wahahhaha.

alright.. this 4 days of hols aint gonna be all play. i missed out 4 days of sch. actually no difference from saying one week. and i have tonnes to catch up. i shall be hardworking. okay. to be hardworking... i gonna hibernate to reserve energy. so good nites!

im sick =(

raaaah..

after struggling for 2 days.. im still sick. sobs. slept my whole day away yesterday... until my body feels kinda aching... i got my butt off the bed n headed to uncle white coat. on my way to visit uncle white coat.. sr called n offered me a lift. heh. save me the effort to climb up and down the hills. thanks sr! and since i was out.. i went to popular to get my textbk. wanted to choose some nice papers... but that place was too cold. n my body couldnt take it once again. so i hurried back hall. took my medicine. sr offered me a bowl of soup! thanks to sr's dad! haha. tat came in handy esp for an empty n sickly stomach. =)

so i slept after taking the medicine. n only woke up to watch tv at my neighbors' room. evon carried up one huge tray of beehoon and chicken wings frm the bbq she had at our concourse at 12 midnite. n we went round the blk offering blk supper. haha. hanged arnd at st's room for abt an hour. her room is like so pinkish. gosh. den we ended up playing poker at wayne's room with the chicken wings as our stake. haha. thank god im sick.. so i only had to drink water. but i had 2 rounds of 4 n 1/2 cups of water. i so really feel like puking. tat made me feel really unwell after tat. headed back room n got to bed immediately. but couldnt get to slp. maybe perhaps i slept too much. sigh.

so woke up at 6 plus this mrn n rushed to cdc. had a crash course. meet an interesting instructor. learnt a lot of new things. den i headed back home.. took my medicine. supposed to go to slp. but went for facial instead. n i dunno why my mom n sis enjoy facial so much. it's so freaking uncomfortable. sigh. i dun like the shoulder massage. i dun like ppl touching me. esp my collar bone. eeks. it has always been a bad experience for me. but for the sake of having a nice face.. haiz. but i fell asleep while at facial anw.. haha. coz the medicine took its effect. heh.

okay.. i bought stamps, letters, and envelope! i can start my letter writing soon!

tiring wk..

hmm..

apparently.. i chanced upon kc's songlists and now im here listening to his songs. and i jus realised tat he's a christian coz he has got so many praise n worship songs in his list! n there was this particular song which i havent hear it in quite a long while... it's the song i first sang in that little old chapel where i converted. brought back so much memories of those days. so much has changed since then. after i converted, i used to attend church services once in a while... but now... very very seldom. maybe like once a year when there's an invitation? i dun even know if i still consider myself a christian. many many years back, my religion was taoist. next was christianity. now? should i say free thinker if someone asked? i really dunno. i still seek for god when i need him. but i feel kinda bad that he's on my mind only when i needed him. will god still love me? will he still be there for me?

ok.. ive finally cleared most of my debts. gonna thanks grandma and grandpa for that actually. i still have hostel fees to clear. and some remaining miscellaneous fees in sch. darn. but w/o the money from my grandparents... i wouldnt be here in hall now. heh. im only supposed to spend their money on sch fees and hostel fees. but ive spend quite an amount on myself coz ive been jobless since my student graduated. haha. so i gonna work and put tat money back. sigh.the past wk has sorta been a study-work wk. tiring man. on one of the days i actually reached back hall at close to 11 and nearly concussed immediately. maybe god knows tat i've made quite a loss this wk... tat's why ive quite a few job openings this wk which i took up all. thanks lord! and i sold one of my textbook as well! yoohoo! erm... but soon i'll be broke again... coz i need to buy textbooks. hahahahaaa.gonna stay back tmr to earn some fast cash. tat's the reason why im staying back and also why im gg for tmr's make up lect. crap. haiz. so tiring lo. and nobody's in hall today. actually got la... but all went out. im supposed to be out at training too. but my toe hurts. got bitten till it's swollen. gosh.

anw i tink there's some prob w my neighbors lately. one has been too hardworking. the other likes to irritate me.. to the extent tat i got to ignore her... and she has to changed her nick on msn to 'my neighbor hates me now... and she really hates me'. weirdos. then another one has been rather quiet. always disappearing from our sight. and another one just pms for no reason.. asking if i was trying to be sarcastic when i asked such an innocent question. damn. everyone's weird. next wk will be a full wk. and my lab will kick start as well. actually tat's good in one way. at least there wont be make up lect. freaking lecturers want make up lect on saturday. haiyo. very tiring leh.

shucks. im spending so little time at home. i miss my mom's dessert so much! had desserts in sch but all tasted so different. ahhhhh... mommy... will u make me some dessert this wkend? hahahahaha

hari raya eve..

had a long day today.

coz the rain refused to take a break yesterday... i couldnt make it back to hall. so had to wake up at freaking 630am this mrn. been waking up early for the past few days. couldnt believe it man. woke up at 9 on a saturday. 7 on a sunday. and 630 on the second monday of the new yr. raaaah. and for that reason.. i always feel sleepy before the clock strikes 12. i'm becoming more and more normal. haha. tat's good. healthy living at least.

so visited my grandparents on saturday. accompanied them to the doctor. and feeling bored... i took a quick health screening for myself. and gosh.... fat! haha. so im going to including gym-ing sessions into my already damn packed timetable. tat shall be my own personal elective. wahahahahaaa..

had my first lesson at the centre on sunday morning. despite having a class as big as 15 students.. thank god that the students are generally well behaved. hahaa. at the end of the day, would i grow to love teaching or hate teaching? haha. we shall see yea? met my family for lunch and then we shopped arnd for cny clothes and for groceries at the supermarket wondering what to cook for dinner. and then we headed home... and i concussed almost immediately. after which when i woke up.. still feeling damn shagged tho.. watched the ren ci charity show. and there was this part abt cheerleading. my goodness... their stunts and their uniforms reminded me of what my hall has put up for cheerleading last yr. haha. i tink it's not original. hahahahahaha. den chatted w SR abt it.. and i vent out my frustrations over cny goodies. soon i'll go broke over cny goodies. and i'll tell u how i freaking hate cny goodies now. raaaah. but i still miss the pineapple tarts made my sq's mom and the prawn roll by agnes's mom. and why do my mom not know how to make any???? raaah... i'm going to steal recipe and buy ingredients. den she'll have no choice but to help me w it. wahahahahahaha.

so today... took a train back to sch in the early mrn. and i lost my ez link card and my hall key. been freaking pissed from the moment i realised it's lost. it's only mrn... and here im forced to curse and swear. im really damn upset la. jus topped up my card w 20 bucks. and now it's lost. and i need to replace my key and my access card. that's another 20 bucks. and i lost a pouch tat goes together w those cards n key... tat cost 10 bucks. i so freaking hate what had happened! and tat's not the end. it was drizzling and i stepped into a puddle of mud. there... i dirtied my white pants! oh damn bloody hell! i wonder why do all unfortunate events all occur at one go??? im damn sad la. so i had reported lost... and for the entire day, was hoping for some kind soul to pick up my pouch and keys and return to me. and monday is a freaking long day for me. had lessons from 930 to 630. almost died. but nonetheless, i hang on there and didnt skip a single class. after the last lect which ends at 630... i went to work from 7 to 10. actually i almost couldnt take it when it was close to 9.... but for the sake of making up for my losses today... i worked for another hour. after which i left immediately.

sigh. now it's one plus already. selamat hari raya haji! and im gonna spend this day resting and catching up w lectures and tut. as i've promised... i'll be hardworking. and i certainly will.

nitey!

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分享
时间已做了选择
什黱人叫做朋友
偶而碰头
心情却能一点就通
因为我们曾有过
理想类似的生活
太多感受绝非三言两语能形容
可能有时我们顾虑太多
太多决定需要我们去选择
担心会犯错
难免会受挫
幸好一路上有你陪我
与你分享的快乐胜过独自拥有
至今我仍深深感动
好友如同一扇窗
能让视野不同
与你分享的快乐
胜过独自拥有
至今我仍深深感动
好友如同一扇门
让世界变开阔

i need a friend to love..

happy new year!

heh. i feel so refreshed! it's such a great way to start a new year! despite having quite a late night yesterday.. i managed to ve a peaceful 10 hrs sleep. 10 hrs is enough. i just dun understand why i always dun get enough sleep in hall. one thing i loved abt coming home is to be able to sleep in peace and for as long as i want.

hmm. met jack in the afternoon. it surprised me a little tat jack would be the first person i'll meet up with in the new yr. haha. we met at a place which i've never been to before.. hang around a little while... and ended up at causeway pt. like from one end to another. hahahaha. as usual, i was condemned for my 'blurness'. i dunno why... but despite staying in singapore all my life... there're still so many places so unfamiliar to me. n i get lost so easily. haha. jack showed me some msges sent by wt. i really really envy the friendship they shared. really. i wonder why i'm not blessed w such a friendship like theirs. they merely know each other for a few wks, but are now so close to each other. i yearn for a friend whom i can love... whom i can hug when i feel empty n lonely... whom i can cry for.. whom i can talk to.. whom i can buy things or make them things to show them how much i cherish the friendship. when jack was telling me abt the friendship they shared.. there was a sudden sense of emptiness inside me. tho i do have many friends, but everyone seems so busy with their life, tat there's hardly anyone whom i can share my thoughts with. i dun seem to be able to open up to anyone anymore. i still do play around w many people around me.. coz i loved to see smiley faces. but it seems like ive become such an introvert tat besides joking n fooling around, i can hardly start off a serious conversation abt my inner thoughts with anyone. and as ive got older, i enjoy shopping alone... doing things alone. why is it so? is this part of growing up? sigh