fearful..

hmm..

feeling kinda uneasy. it was just an email which turned my day so bad. it's hols today n uncle took me out cycling and showed me around. yet, all that's on my mind was the kinda response i received from a friend. somehow it made me fear going back to sg. i fear those kinda feeling that i had to endure when things between me and my friends turned sour. i fear giving my friends excuses when they respond in an awful way towards me. there's a lot i fear about my friends... is it a good thing that im in canada now? i don't know.

uncle talked to me earlier on about me migrating to canada. the first thing that came to my mind was my friends. the thing i can't bear to leave behind are my friends. be it friendships that are only couple of months old or years or even a decade old.. it's all about my friends that i can't let go. things changed. just take a look at my uncle. it has been 24 years since he left sg.. and he lost contact with all his friends. i really cant imagine that happening to me. friends are one large part of my life. losing them is tantamount to losing a large part of my life. i doubt i'll ever allow that.