tiring..

haiz..

sigh. my body is aching all over. ahh. too long didnt exercise man. im so gonna die. so many trainings. so tiring. cleaned my room yesterday n went for netball trg immediately after. den w/o a break, after bathing, had a meeting. den met up w wayne n edwinS for dinner. and tat's it man. end of day. too tired. gosh. think ive been resting for too long. it was merely a full 12 hrs day n i can hardly take it le. there was a plan for movie marathon tho... but i was already in dreamland.

hmm. feel kinda bad for missing out on tat bash. after all it's organised by a good fren... sigh. but i guess i'll feel kinda odd there. so i'd rather make do w shopping at dreamland. doubt i can start on my movie marathon soon. i've sooooooo many things up on my agenda. n now im thinkin if i shld join isg. haha. erm... i really dunnno... need a bit more time to think. hmm. shucks. jus as i was mentioning abt my lack of creativity the other day, now i ve to design the ih scoreboard. argh. i seriously ve no idea how to go abt doing it man. spent the entire mrn today sending out emails checking on ballrooms. finally something settled! replied to my uncle as well. phew! sent out my resume as well! phew phew! after all these... i went to learn abt this photo editing program. all the way till now. im finally taking a break. shall go to the gym later. n club tonight.

sigh. so tired. now im afraid of anyone knocking on my door. so hard to arrange for a meeting so tat everyone can meet up. ah. i shall refer to my head first. sigh.

tired ah..

baaah

hmm..

i'm fallin in love w this herbal tea. i dunno why.. why everyday i'll jus make myself a cup. hmm. feeling healthy cuz of it. well.. tmr onwards i'll feel healthier.. cuz i'm finally gg back sch for trg. tat means exercise. n jackie has agreed to run n work out at the gym w me! yoohoo!

hmm. am i getting old? one thing im certain abt is tat im not creative anymore. sigh. i hope the reason was cuz i sleep too much. after all, tat's gonna be the excuse im giving myself for not being able to think creatively. n life sux cuz of tat. i can opt for simplicity tho.... but i like it w a twist. so life kinda sux for me these days cuz i simply cant think of anything outta the box. hmm. but jus as i was bathing jus now, an idea suddenly strikes me. haha. sometimes bathing is gd. it's like as tho god is sprinkling droplets of wisdom unto u.

haha. was reading thru this thingy the other day, n came upon this interesting place which ive visited back in bangkok. interesting coz erm.. it turned me off somehow. but on this article, it sorta had it described so explicitly.. erm. so cool. haha. anyone interested to noe more abt this 'interesting place' im toking abt jus msg me. i'll send u the link.

hmm. im afraid to go online. im afraid to check my mail. perhaps i still feel kinda lazy. i dun feel like working YET. but out there... pple have alr started slogging. n here im still refusing to work. sigh. i still feel like resting MORE. suddenly i jus feel tired physically. i dun wanna see anyone jus yet. seeing anybody wld mean having to smile. having to talk. but dun get me wrong. i've nv force myself to smile or talk to anyone of my frens. jus tat i dunno wat's w me these days. i prefer solitude. hmm. alrite. dun bother abt me. i jus need some sleep n i'll be alrite.

anw, was shopping today... things ought to be happy abt is tat i've finally done wat someone has been nagging at me all along for the past 6 months. nxt i've bought one of the things on my 'things-to-buy' list. hmm... lastly... i've baked a cake today! chocolate cake! yummy! hmm. a few more pressing issues to settle. i've yet send my resume. i've yet got my pay. i've yet send an email which im supposed to send it like more than a month ago and now... ah shucks... my head jus called for an urgent meeting. tat means i gonna send out that email before that meeting. ah!!! anw.. let's continue before i start working. hmm. i need to do sth abt my hair. tat requires a capital. n i need a bag after my dearest deuter eventually bid me goodbye. now my deuter has became by ex-lover. anw one bag caught my eye... n it costs a $180! darn. i can buy 3 of my ex-lover! or perhaps one of my ex-lover, one big big bag n one pouch n a new pair of sports shoe or jesus sandals for myself. gosh. $180 for one bag. hmm... let me think abt it..... most prob i'll do w/o it. marginal benefit less than opportunity cost. wahahahaha.

ok. tat's it. need to work. bye!

another sad story..

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

im so depressed! sigh.
i always get so bloody upset over the same thing.
i tink i jus simply freaked myself out so much so tat i cant perform as norm. but it's really very scary. suddenly my heart jus feels as tho it's going to jump out. for tat 15 minutes or so in tat room, i hoped n prayed n did wateva i could but just couldnt calm myself down. sigh. wateva it is, i still wanna praise lord for answering my prayers. thanks lord. it was my mistake coz of short term memory. this i can blame no one but myself. but o lord, you're wonderful. had my prayers not been answered, i can imagine myself in a much worser state. thank you lord.

was so upset the whole day until i finally spoke to penguin abt it in the evening. but still, tat doesnt help much coz penguin's mugging hard for exams. den i came back hall and read agnes' blog. wow. tat's amazing. i tink she can be a comedian man... or rather some joke book writer. it was her blog tat cheered me up eventually.

anw i met up w her on tues. oh man. she has got this cool samsung phone, cool coz compared to mine... mine is dead. but her phone is v nice to grip. haha. n she secretly took a pic of me... n posted it online!

"now... i can sue u for tat agnes. u may remain silence. but whatever u said will be recorded as evidence in court. " wahahahahahahahhaaa

bored as i am... i was surfing the net n realized i missed a class gathering while i was in thailand! oh damn..

i miss u guys..

woo! i'm finally HOME!

wahahaha =)
feels so GREAT to be home. the first thing on the 'to-do-list' is to have a good meal! wahaha. followed by a 16 hours straight of sleep. tat's simply life man. the kinda life i've not had since dunno when. haha

been away from home for abt 3 weeks. hmm. pretty long yea? starting to miss home... esp on recent nites when i shut myself in hall alone to memorise some shits. then when i get too lazy to go down for dinner, needa survive on cup noodles. but those times werent frequent also. maybe once or twice so far. coz i've got lovely neighbours who go out on their bikes to buy dinner back, or go down for dinner with me. n not forgetting those who go out for tuition, n buy me supper on their way back. oh man. feel so great w them arnd. to cheer u on during exams. to ensure that each other dont fall sick - fruits after dinner package... liang teh.. chocolates to keep awake while mugging... ahhh... i'm growing real fat. ahhh... must really work out once exams' over. n it gonna be over soon. haha.

unfortunately, my hall is pretty prone to blackouts during the exams periods. was damn damn damn stressed on one of the nites when it blacked out. had a morning paper the very nxt day. intended to slp at 1. but cos i couldnt finish my stuff, i only managed to close the book an hour later. then jus before i could head for my bed, my friendly neighbour came back n we discussed a little, and by 3... SHE SLEPT ON MY BED! argh. well, but poor thing she... fell sick... so didnt even wake up when all the lights went off soon after. it was the BLACKOUT! the entire hall. all the 4 blocks. how irritating. tried to sleep but it was bloodly hot without my friend, fannie working beside me. so when everything was done, it was already 4! holy crap. took the paper in the morning n went back to sleep immediately after. i supposed tat was the worst paper i had. not only becoz ive insufficient sleep to think properly during exams, the questions were simply WONDERFUL. they were EXTRA-ORDINARY man. oh gosh. tat day was simply horror. nitemare. bah.

well. my brain still isnt working very good. still cant think well. but the fact tat christmas is nearing seems to revive it a little. heh.

went to my cousin's wedding dinner 2 days ago. jus a day before my bio eng paper. but i didnt really regret going for it at the expense of my exams, cos i've not attended any dinner as wonderful as this one. everything was so lovely. seriously. there was this video screening of the newly-wed. and wow... it was lovely. so sweet... it makes ur heart melts... n makes u feel like getting married as well. wahahaha. really happy for my cousin. little sweet couple. haaha. n for attending the dinner, i ton the whole nite thru to mug for my paper. was damn shagged. now... it's recovery. wahahhaa. cant wait for the last paper to end. ahhhhh.....

i've been stuck at the little jurong island for so long. how i miss my family and my friends. agnes, sm, maggie, erin, chary, elisa, minqi, sq, yt etc etc... ooo.. really miss u guys man. it seems like years since i last met u guys. and agnes! i really didnt see u for very very long le! remember our steamboat buffet! waahahaha. reading ur blog jus makes me feel tat im really stuck in tat little island. LOST! haha. i miss shopping w u man. ahhh!

ahh... I MIsS mY fRenS deArLy...

missing home...

ahh...

I MISS HOME!

thot i heard my bro's voice from my room, n i opened my door. den i realised that it's not very possible for them to visit me... they would ve called me in the first place. what if i wasnt in my room? what if im asleep? and there's this access gate! how could they have entered without anyone opening the gate for them? i guess i miss my family too much. esp my mom. i really miss home. not that i can't go home. but im jus not allowing myself back home coz i know i'll keep sleeping. im not disciplined enough to mug at home. i sleep too much at home. n life gets too comfy at home. good food. nice bed. great shows. tell me how to study??? sigh. but i really miss home.

took 3 papers so far. torturous. first was math. nxt up was meb, followed by physics which jus ended abt 2 hrs ago. for every module, there was regrets. regrets for not being hardworking enough in the entire sem. regrets for not touching my tutorials. regrets for so many things. i guessed so far meb was the most stressing. it was sth new for me and it took me great pains jus to understand it. im horrified by rumors saying tat most ppl tabao meb. n i stressed myself too much tat day tat i hid at a corner to cry. but i guess this wasnt as bad as A levels. at least this time round i know why i am stress and how to overcome it. im thankful to have a couple of friends to go thru this period w me. praise lord for that.

3 more to go. and i know it gonna be over soon. very soon i gonna be home. i've never miss home so much before. but im not exactly upset by that. at least i know tat i belonged to somewhere.


- Home -

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home

Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home